I don't know about you, but sometimes when I'm with...cough... CERTAIN friends, the topic of discussion veers off into entirely unexpected regions of inappropriate. Today was such a day when Kelly and Jeremy were discussing jokes told about Nuns and sex. It wasn't pretty.
One line I will post, because it was by for the most inappropriate of all, was
"If I rape a nun, a leprechaun will jump out of her ass.... and cure my AIDS"
I love my friends, I really do.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Sail Part 2, recap
So last thurs I went sailing, and left off just before the milk fiasco! As we were sailing during the morning it was a lot of to-do: tour this and show that and check out this. Finally, around lunch time, we slowed right down and headed on up for a nice spaghetti and / or hot-dog snack. During the morning, we were supposed to have the machine gun drills, the 450 cals. attached the sides of the vessel. Unfortunately it was delayed, which meant it didn't start until the middle of lunch time. I don't know about you, but I think it hilarious when half the people eating on deck jump out of their skins every 3 mins when the guns go off.
Afterwards it was a good hour till the next show-off drill, so we went on down to the Chiefs ad PO's mess. The mess is a beautiful lounge with flat screen tvs, a mini bar, couches, some tables to sit and eat at, and a window opening directly into the galley to get food stuffs. The mess is a rotation job that everyone is assigned at one point, but today it was fun by Hall, a cool young cat who volunteered so another could take the time off. Hall was in his twenties, lanky, had tattoos, and plays the guitar - in effect, the perfect man for my godsister. Needless to say we picked on her mercilessly.
About an hour of chatting away and watching YTV, the whistle called for the next demonstration: The Man-Over-Board. We headed on up. Now, in order to collect a man over board, the boat must turn completely around and have him out of the water in under 5 mins. I don't know about you, but turning in a boat going 35 knots is incredibly fun. To illustrate the process, here is a man standing straight on the boat while level : l
a man standing up straight on a boat turning is standing like \ and the more sharp the turn the more diagonal you stand. Walking down hallways almost sideways is really fun.
So we get up top and rescue the man over board in 4 mins something seconds. Then a helicopter circles us and shows us how they lower and pull up people in ropes for search and rescue missions. Pretty cool, took some pictures, then headed back down.
Amusingly enough we find Hall in the.. well, the hall out side the Chiefs and PO's mess leading a group of big guys carrying the milk machine from the mess. Apparently, Hall tells us, almost immediately after we left the milk machine decided that being bolted to a wall was stupid, and that it would rip off its hinges and fly to safety.
Seriously.
This machine was the size of a two and a half microwaves. It was big. Luckily enough it missed all three people standing around it and hit an opposite wall undeterred. It was still pretty awesome.
For those of you wondering: it actually stayed intact. Their was a dent in it the size of andre the giants fist, but it was still intact.
The rest of the day was beautiful and amusing. Naps were taken and shows were watched and then it rained a fuck ton of rain/hail victoria weather with cold winds and bogusness.
we docked in the rain, walked home in the rain, and dried off out of the rain. My dry jacket spent maybe 8 mins-10 mins out side and it was soaked through as if I'd dropped it in the ocean.
Well, it was a certainly amusing adventure :)
Afterwards it was a good hour till the next show-off drill, so we went on down to the Chiefs ad PO's mess. The mess is a beautiful lounge with flat screen tvs, a mini bar, couches, some tables to sit and eat at, and a window opening directly into the galley to get food stuffs. The mess is a rotation job that everyone is assigned at one point, but today it was fun by Hall, a cool young cat who volunteered so another could take the time off. Hall was in his twenties, lanky, had tattoos, and plays the guitar - in effect, the perfect man for my godsister. Needless to say we picked on her mercilessly.
About an hour of chatting away and watching YTV, the whistle called for the next demonstration: The Man-Over-Board. We headed on up. Now, in order to collect a man over board, the boat must turn completely around and have him out of the water in under 5 mins. I don't know about you, but turning in a boat going 35 knots is incredibly fun. To illustrate the process, here is a man standing straight on the boat while level : l
a man standing up straight on a boat turning is standing like \ and the more sharp the turn the more diagonal you stand. Walking down hallways almost sideways is really fun.
So we get up top and rescue the man over board in 4 mins something seconds. Then a helicopter circles us and shows us how they lower and pull up people in ropes for search and rescue missions. Pretty cool, took some pictures, then headed back down.
Amusingly enough we find Hall in the.. well, the hall out side the Chiefs and PO's mess leading a group of big guys carrying the milk machine from the mess. Apparently, Hall tells us, almost immediately after we left the milk machine decided that being bolted to a wall was stupid, and that it would rip off its hinges and fly to safety.
Seriously.
This machine was the size of a two and a half microwaves. It was big. Luckily enough it missed all three people standing around it and hit an opposite wall undeterred. It was still pretty awesome.
For those of you wondering: it actually stayed intact. Their was a dent in it the size of andre the giants fist, but it was still intact.
The rest of the day was beautiful and amusing. Naps were taken and shows were watched and then it rained a fuck ton of rain/hail victoria weather with cold winds and bogusness.
we docked in the rain, walked home in the rain, and dried off out of the rain. My dry jacket spent maybe 8 mins-10 mins out side and it was soaked through as if I'd dropped it in the ocean.
Well, it was a certainly amusing adventure :)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day Sail Part One
I title this post Part One because I just got home from a sail that made me get up at 6, board at 8, go out to sea till 3:30, then get ready and go to teach a lesson and socialize at youth group.
Seriously, aside from my youth group prep time, this is the first I've been able to sit down. I don't count sitting while socializing on Ottawa while out at sea.
So: waking up and getting there.
I would like to take this opportunity to introduce Bob. I will not meet Bob for some time yet, but Bob is the weather guy for the navy ship Ottawa. When the navy planned a family day aboard ship, they didn't really factor in the weather. If they have to sail in rain... it's Victoria. In Victoria the weather is like a woman in a shoe store where all the shoes are on sale and she's only allowed to pick one. It changes it's mind. Frequently.
So on this fateful day, when my godfather invited me to tour the ship as one of the family, Bob the Weather Guy stated that it would be overcast, dreary, raining, and all around miserable.
It was gorgeous. The water was smooth, the wind just right, the sun shining, and almost no clouds as we set sail up the west coast. During the drills: man over board, helicopter search and rescue, machine gun firing, anything that made us come up from the safety of the bowls of the ship into the warm and wonderful weather, it was glorious.
My godfather often picks on Bob for a reason.
Anyway, so we head out into this beautiful day by watching the ships hand raise the flag. Unfortunately the mike broke, so when the Capt'n stood up to tell us safety measures and his opening welcome speech most of us couldn't hear it. Luckily our family members clued us in after.
My godfather, Martin, works onboard navy ships in the Top Secret, Limited/Restricted Access, Communications Center and Radio. He takes and decodes military, airforce and navy radio signals and passes them on to those who need to know such things. Of the people on his ship of approx 100, only a handful have seen his office... and for today only, so did his family.
We toured the operations room and his work spot. Then he gave us the run down of his work. All over the place Top Secret, Secret, Restricted, and other forms of 'Don't touch us we are important' stickers where posted up on machines and desks. In the corner sat Martins desk, with a big hammer.
The Hammers name was Hammer of Stupid Questions.
Imagine decoding messages, receiving file after file, while your peers constantly come up to you with questions. You ask yourself, 'is this a question worth my time?', 'does this question take priority over top secret government messages?', 'Are you an idiot?', and so forth.
Luckily, if these questions are running through your mind, you have a solution: The Hammer of Stupid Questions. At any point during this onslaught of meaningless questions, the message receiver can pick up his hammer and bang it on his desk. It pretty much means "Fuck off, I'm Working."
After doing our fun tour, of which I can tell you no more than that there is a room with lots of "Secret" stickers, and a Hammer that smites stupid questions, we head up to the deck to hoist the flags.
Martin has two daughters, Meara and Faith, and two goddaughters, Me and Amber, and his wife Nikki along on the boat today. Of his daughters, I'm a PO2 from 6 years ago before I left sea cadets, Meara is Able Cadet, Amber is a Sargent (i think...), and Faith, little navy league Faith, is a PO1.
If this means nothing to you then lets just say if all my sisters and martin were on the same ship and the same age, then Faith is the highest rank. Even higher than Martin.
Of course her rank is a navy league rank where her age group is from 9 to 12, and she'll have to start over in Sea Cadets and or whichever Core she goes into, but for this moment, in her little uniform, it's fun to think that my 10 year old sister outranked us all.
I will recount the tale of a flying Milk machine tomorrow. It's a good one. :)
Seriously, aside from my youth group prep time, this is the first I've been able to sit down. I don't count sitting while socializing on Ottawa while out at sea.
So: waking up and getting there.
I would like to take this opportunity to introduce Bob. I will not meet Bob for some time yet, but Bob is the weather guy for the navy ship Ottawa. When the navy planned a family day aboard ship, they didn't really factor in the weather. If they have to sail in rain... it's Victoria. In Victoria the weather is like a woman in a shoe store where all the shoes are on sale and she's only allowed to pick one. It changes it's mind. Frequently.
So on this fateful day, when my godfather invited me to tour the ship as one of the family, Bob the Weather Guy stated that it would be overcast, dreary, raining, and all around miserable.
It was gorgeous. The water was smooth, the wind just right, the sun shining, and almost no clouds as we set sail up the west coast. During the drills: man over board, helicopter search and rescue, machine gun firing, anything that made us come up from the safety of the bowls of the ship into the warm and wonderful weather, it was glorious.
My godfather often picks on Bob for a reason.
Anyway, so we head out into this beautiful day by watching the ships hand raise the flag. Unfortunately the mike broke, so when the Capt'n stood up to tell us safety measures and his opening welcome speech most of us couldn't hear it. Luckily our family members clued us in after.
My godfather, Martin, works onboard navy ships in the Top Secret, Limited/Restricted Access, Communications Center and Radio. He takes and decodes military, airforce and navy radio signals and passes them on to those who need to know such things. Of the people on his ship of approx 100, only a handful have seen his office... and for today only, so did his family.
We toured the operations room and his work spot. Then he gave us the run down of his work. All over the place Top Secret, Secret, Restricted, and other forms of 'Don't touch us we are important' stickers where posted up on machines and desks. In the corner sat Martins desk, with a big hammer.
The Hammers name was Hammer of Stupid Questions.
Imagine decoding messages, receiving file after file, while your peers constantly come up to you with questions. You ask yourself, 'is this a question worth my time?', 'does this question take priority over top secret government messages?', 'Are you an idiot?', and so forth.
Luckily, if these questions are running through your mind, you have a solution: The Hammer of Stupid Questions. At any point during this onslaught of meaningless questions, the message receiver can pick up his hammer and bang it on his desk. It pretty much means "Fuck off, I'm Working."
After doing our fun tour, of which I can tell you no more than that there is a room with lots of "Secret" stickers, and a Hammer that smites stupid questions, we head up to the deck to hoist the flags.
Martin has two daughters, Meara and Faith, and two goddaughters, Me and Amber, and his wife Nikki along on the boat today. Of his daughters, I'm a PO2 from 6 years ago before I left sea cadets, Meara is Able Cadet, Amber is a Sargent (i think...), and Faith, little navy league Faith, is a PO1.
If this means nothing to you then lets just say if all my sisters and martin were on the same ship and the same age, then Faith is the highest rank. Even higher than Martin.
Of course her rank is a navy league rank where her age group is from 9 to 12, and she'll have to start over in Sea Cadets and or whichever Core she goes into, but for this moment, in her little uniform, it's fun to think that my 10 year old sister outranked us all.
I will recount the tale of a flying Milk machine tomorrow. It's a good one. :)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Vote For Me
Hey guys,
So I met a new friend a while back, Michael, and he sat with me in utter awe as student after student, worker after worker, janitor, teacher, society member and a few internation students came up for hugs. I love people, and I know a lot of them. By the end of the hour I had socialized with 50 people from different walks of life. Michael, a student society leader, turned to me after he finished eating and asked if how I knew all these people. I, of course, just shrugged and went back to reading.
Michael continued to hang out with me for a few days before asking if I'd run for the student society board. After much thought, meeting all my few members, and hearing about what they wanna do for the college I thought that it was a great opportunity to watch things change for the good.
Now I'm running for Lansdowne Director. Vote for Pedro - I mean Jaz.
Love you darlings, hope to see you at the voting polls!
So I met a new friend a while back, Michael, and he sat with me in utter awe as student after student, worker after worker, janitor, teacher, society member and a few internation students came up for hugs. I love people, and I know a lot of them. By the end of the hour I had socialized with 50 people from different walks of life. Michael, a student society leader, turned to me after he finished eating and asked if how I knew all these people. I, of course, just shrugged and went back to reading.
Michael continued to hang out with me for a few days before asking if I'd run for the student society board. After much thought, meeting all my few members, and hearing about what they wanna do for the college I thought that it was a great opportunity to watch things change for the good.
Now I'm running for Lansdowne Director. Vote for Pedro - I mean Jaz.
Love you darlings, hope to see you at the voting polls!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
My Fridge, a safe haven for bacteria
So yes, in an act of... well, attempting to bring you more of myself and less a random upload of crazy awesome videos, I made the mistake of asking my roommate what I should write about. He replied "With the contents of your fridge."
So here is such an account. Those of you clamoring for more Jaz should now take satisfaction, as I have
brie cheese
minute maid lemonaide
condiments (sooo many condiments)
bacon
lettuce
sour cream
milk
and pork, minced
So here is such an account. Those of you clamoring for more Jaz should now take satisfaction, as I have
brie cheese
minute maid lemonaide
condiments (sooo many condiments)
bacon
lettuce
sour cream
milk
and pork, minced
Monday, February 28, 2011
During my flu two weeks ago ~ Nietzsche
I love Nietzsche, I love the passion, the pompousness, the charisma and his witty way of writing. I am also a very loud obnoxious person, so when discussion starts up and I have nothing to say, barely any retorts and only the most measly attempt at conversation leads me to believe that I am sick. There is almost no circumstance in which I will not passionately debate a favorite topic, and as Nadia has just said to me, we should be expecting the Rapture.
So call your heathen petsitters folks, because if I'm not sick than they will soon be taking care of your beloved scruffy.
So call your heathen petsitters folks, because if I'm not sick than they will soon be taking care of your beloved scruffy.
Professor Layton
I do not know if you have had the pleasure of playing French games before, dear readers, but believe me when I way they have amazing stories and graphics. Not only that, but they are often set in amusing, alternate realities where mystery and mayhem reign supreme!
Such is the case with Professor Layton. The game revolves around the intelligent, problem and puzzle solving professor and his young pupil Luke as they solve mysterious puzzles around Sci-fi, fantasy, time travel, drug induced hallucinations, and utter chaos.
There have been a few released games for PC and Game Boy DS, and worth whatever you may need to pay for them.
As a wonderful game of intrigue and art and humor, don't pass up the opportunity to experience the wonder and entertainment of this puzzle mystery game.
Such is the case with Professor Layton. The game revolves around the intelligent, problem and puzzle solving professor and his young pupil Luke as they solve mysterious puzzles around Sci-fi, fantasy, time travel, drug induced hallucinations, and utter chaos.
There have been a few released games for PC and Game Boy DS, and worth whatever you may need to pay for them.
As a wonderful game of intrigue and art and humor, don't pass up the opportunity to experience the wonder and entertainment of this puzzle mystery game.
Snore
What does it mean when you wake up at 9 am and don't get up till 1:30?
The answer: a glomp from a 6'1 strong and determined boyfriend who doesn't want to loose a snuggle buddy.
Sigh, I'm so accommodating...
The answer: a glomp from a 6'1 strong and determined boyfriend who doesn't want to loose a snuggle buddy.
Sigh, I'm so accommodating...
Coookkiiieeeees!
Hello all of my adoring fans! In this, the ending short clip after the credits I your glorious mistress and distributor of cookies everyone make a guest appearance!
I hope you all enjoy darlings :3
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/loadingreadyrun/2811-Cursing
I hope you all enjoy darlings :3
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/loadingreadyrun/2811-Cursing
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Party to Insanity
Tonight at the party at Wrens house we broke open our bottles and grabbed our coconuts and limed the shit out of those little umbrellas and plastic swords. Wren had pre-sliced coconut husks to fill with mango and vodka and sliced lime. It was awesome and amazing and the talk was off the wall. Unfortunately my darling forgot to take his meds and we went home early... BUT this meant a long snuggle bubble bath and video games and some nice reading before bed.
Some wonderful things suggested to me at the party were http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ - a collection of amusing stories about ones childhood, and
Some wonderful things suggested to me at the party were http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ - a collection of amusing stories about ones childhood, and
I only posted the first of five Standard Action above, but it's still worth Youtubing them. As one roaming the MERP world I can better appreciate a MELARP.
haha Melarp.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)