Merp Feb 26

So in Merp today we went up against ...15 murkwood spiders? It was some huge number. At this point I learned the unfortunate side effect of being a melee based character - that when you opponents are far away your teammates get to shoot at them 3-4 times before you can reach them to actually fight them head on.

When I realized I'd be standing with a whole bunch of archers until those spiders came out of the forest (we didn't know how many there were, and so we stayed close to the elf fire), I decided that instead of just sitting around doing nothing I would break out in my spider song that I wrote last week. Luckily I am a handler of animals, the spiders speak a very accented common, and I was paying attention, I noticed that these spiders were laughing hysterically at my song. They LIKED that I was singing about them in a winning scenario.

Now, at this point some of the spiders conversed amongst themselves and said we were okay... until the paranoid Tamerin decided to shoot one while it they were coming to this decision... eh voila: intent giant spider formation and attack.

I keep singing while, turn after turn, the archers shoot, then we all spot check, then we move forward. In all this hubbub I finally get a chance to make up for my lack of action... a mace a spider so hard in the leg that it's heart stops and HE DIES.

My compatriots dismember a few others. Now, we are fighting spiders... in all the shots we took in the span of TWO HOURS of fighting these things, only two times near the end of the battle did anyone NOT hit a leg as a critical.

This became absolutely ludicrous in predictability. And at one point the whole party was laughing our asses off at Tamerin - who rolled over a 100 for every hit...and whose critical never breached 6. Not only did he only hit legs, but it didn't effect the actual play, only the creatures hit points.

At one point Basil, our insanely apathetic dwarf scientist gets poisoned, then administers his slow acting poison serum.. now we have defeated our foe's and must save him from unconsciousness and death!